My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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