Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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