dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
