not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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