I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
