She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
