i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
A+ Viking dick
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