Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They took my balls.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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