Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
