I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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