i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
