My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He had one of those small greek statue penises
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize