I can't watch pbs sober anymore
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
