i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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