My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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