Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
