And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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