I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
