Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
