the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
