Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
