I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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