found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
