that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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