Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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