i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you will always have a special place in my vag
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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