Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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