im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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