don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
