i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
