doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
