My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
