When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
