Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
this is an emotional support booty call
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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