The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
