I hate all girls vehemently.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
