She announced her abortion via fbk
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
