I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
