I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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