i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
