is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i think i just lost a toe
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