MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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