I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
