those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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