He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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