Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
