he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
