Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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