from now on my penis is your penis
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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