Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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