We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
