Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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