HIV tests are more positive than that guy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize