I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
