i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
