Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
