I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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