I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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