I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
