is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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