Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize