theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
