hotel room ftw
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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