You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
